Happy Birthday J.
It's been so long since I've mentioned you in this space. Remember how we used to blog only about & for each other as if no one else was reading?
It's unbelievable how a twist of fate brought us together. We've known each other for literally umpteen years since we were 12, I can't believe it actually took us so long to really discover each other.
It was a very trying time for us back in 2007, & although I am angst for all the valuable time that was robbed of us when we just started, I can never imagine us without that phase. Our sole mode of communication were through letters, & I remember hovering by my post box to check if there were any letters from you. I would go to your house to have dinner with your mother, to accompany her in place of you. I would walk into your room and run my fingers through your sheets and stuff lest you diminish in my memory.
In the blink of an eye, you were back with me, & gradually we've spent 3 years+ together. 3 years of being so awfully dependent on you. I'd make you run errands for me, accompany me for the most boring events and help me with my work. We'd spend every consecutive day together, & all our nights on the phone.
We mapped out our future together with a house in Punggol, three lovely children (although we have differing views on the gender) and our lives living under one roof. For a very long time, that wasn't just a vision to me- it was reality that would be enfolding in time to come.
But life always has a way of mocking the naive, and a way to rouse the dreamers. I learned that there wasn't just you & me. I started to see other people- friends & family that I have neglected. I became conscious that my dependency on you was so overwhelming that I feared being alone. I realized that as I have grown on you, I lacked my individuality.
& so while many cannot comprehend why we are not together, I know you'll completely understand why I need this time alone and away from you.
& while I know your patience is wearing thin, I embrace whatever comes along. I do hope that we both figure out our lives, and find a spring of happiness that is not temporary. Although this may mean that in the course of all these that we may lose the privilege of being exclusive to each other.
But I don't see the end of us, but the start of a much deeper relationship. Because you know me like none other, and you understand my struggles. You'll always be a very good friend despite your beliefs that relationships don't last beyond a breakup.
Lastly, I would like to thank everyone who has been there for me when 2010 was so tough & exhausting for me, especially to those whom I constantly poured my soul out to- Bestie, Jerusha, Mujia, Jessica & my Liaos. I can never thank you all enough.
I'm Lydia Liao, & being optimistic has always been my forte. Writing this out is really such a relief. :)
May your 2011 be filled with laughter, joy & crazy moments.
It's been so long since I've mentioned you in this space. Remember how we used to blog only about & for each other as if no one else was reading?
It's unbelievable how a twist of fate brought us together. We've known each other for literally umpteen years since we were 12, I can't believe it actually took us so long to really discover each other.
It was a very trying time for us back in 2007, & although I am angst for all the valuable time that was robbed of us when we just started, I can never imagine us without that phase. Our sole mode of communication were through letters, & I remember hovering by my post box to check if there were any letters from you. I would go to your house to have dinner with your mother, to accompany her in place of you. I would walk into your room and run my fingers through your sheets and stuff lest you diminish in my memory.
In the blink of an eye, you were back with me, & gradually we've spent 3 years+ together. 3 years of being so awfully dependent on you. I'd make you run errands for me, accompany me for the most boring events and help me with my work. We'd spend every consecutive day together, & all our nights on the phone.
We mapped out our future together with a house in Punggol, three lovely children (although we have differing views on the gender) and our lives living under one roof. For a very long time, that wasn't just a vision to me- it was reality that would be enfolding in time to come.
But life always has a way of mocking the naive, and a way to rouse the dreamers. I learned that there wasn't just you & me. I started to see other people- friends & family that I have neglected. I became conscious that my dependency on you was so overwhelming that I feared being alone. I realized that as I have grown on you, I lacked my individuality.
& so while many cannot comprehend why we are not together, I know you'll completely understand why I need this time alone and away from you.
& while I know your patience is wearing thin, I embrace whatever comes along. I do hope that we both figure out our lives, and find a spring of happiness that is not temporary. Although this may mean that in the course of all these that we may lose the privilege of being exclusive to each other.
But I don't see the end of us, but the start of a much deeper relationship. Because you know me like none other, and you understand my struggles. You'll always be a very good friend despite your beliefs that relationships don't last beyond a breakup.
Lastly, I would like to thank everyone who has been there for me when 2010 was so tough & exhausting for me, especially to those whom I constantly poured my soul out to- Bestie, Jerusha, Mujia, Jessica & my Liaos. I can never thank you all enough.
I'm Lydia Liao, & being optimistic has always been my forte. Writing this out is really such a relief. :)
May your 2011 be filled with laughter, joy & crazy moments.
